tattered_errata

conuly posting in

DEAR HARRIETTE: As parents, I'm sure most of us have experienced a squabble or disagreement between our kids. I definitely have, but they're usually short-lived. Currently, two of my girls aren't speaking and haven't been for a few months. This all started because my older daughter made a joke about me owing her back pay because my younger daughter's college tuition was more expensive than hers. My younger daughter, who is usually quite docile, blew up at the comment. She called her older sister ungrateful, rude and spoiled. They argued like I've never seen before, and they haven't spoken since. I tried talking to my younger daughter about it, but she won't apologize. I don't think her sentiments were wrong; the joke was in poor taste. I think as a family we should never be so hostile toward each other. How do I get my girls back on track? -- Family Disagreement

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muccamukk

Not sure if anyone else here is into this movie. I'm picking away at the sex pollen fic, but I haven't written fic in long enough that it was slow going the first few days, and now I'm afk while visiting my parents (elder millennial has not warmed to writing fic on phone). Meanwhile, I'm trying to work out the latest backstory.

It's been long enough since I read any F4 comics that I read the wiki to remember the origin story (since the movie just summarises it). The following is a vague stab at a timeline?

( No real spoilers )

Thoughts? Corrections? Anyone just want to talk about the movie?

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the years, my mom and I have struggled to forge the ideal smooth-sailing mother-daughter bond that other people have. We used to bump heads a lot. Now that we no longer bump heads, we just have a hard time connecting and enjoying each other. I want things to get better, but she often compares my relationship with her to the one I have with my dad. My dad and I are pretty playful together, and he's easy to talk to. I think my mom constantly mocking the dynamic I have with my dad is her version of banter or "breaking the ice," but I wish she would stop comparing so that she and I could find our own groove. How do I get her on the same page as me? -- Mommy Issues

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conuly posting in

agonyaunt

1. DEAR ABBY: My son is 20 and a senior in college. He's a baseball player and is about to ask the girl he's been dating for a year and a half to marry him. My wife and I don't get along with her at all. She has a myriad of health problems and takes eight prescriptions a day. Because of her conditions, she rarely has the energy to do anything but lie around when she comes to our house. She used to have a job packing groceries at a market, and she would frequently log 10 to 12 miles a day walking. She quit that job for a job at an ice cream shop where she does little walking.

We had a get-together at my other son's house, and she said she couldn't come because she was too tired. My wife sent my son a message saying, "Really? From scooping ice cream?" The girlfriend needed to use my son's phone and saw the message. Her feelings were hurt, and now she will have nothing to do with us. (They still expect us to pay for their wedding, and for gas and maintenance on his car to visit her parents almost daily.) We want to support our son, but we are over it with her. There is so much more I could tell you. Please help. -- DAD WHO'S OVER IT

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2. Dear Eric: My wife of 50 years told me that she no longer wants to live with me. I am currently living in our summer home with no friends or social contacts/networks. She has no interest in reconciling.

We didn't fight or argue, and I am at a loss as to what triggered her declaration. This has taken me totally by surprise. I thought we had a good marriage, with occasional ups and downs. There are no abuse, addiction or infidelity issues. I worked my whole life and am now retired. As soon as we had children, she was able to stay at home and lived comfortably raising our children and taking care of the household. The children have sided with their mom and won't speak to me. I think she has poisoned them against me, but don't see the gain in her doing that.

I am miserable. I am 74 with neurological mobility issues. I fear that I will fall, and no one will be around. Senior housing for me is too expensive and will deplete our planned retirement resources. We were counting on eventually selling our summer home to supplement our finances later in life. This is no longer possible as I am living in that house. This is not how I wanted the last chapters of my life to end.

I have had five sessions of therapy with no results. My therapist says I'm not at risk to myself or others and I am perpetually slightly depressed but not debilitated. Without more concrete information, he cannot help me. I am not a bad person, yet here I am.

– Totally Betrayed

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3. DEAR ABBY: Our 23-year-old son, "Ed," was clean-cut, into working out and staying healthy, watched his diet -- he even joined a gym and was going every week. Ed has been dating a girl, "Emily," who is the complete opposite. She's probably a hundred pounds overweight. She's also dirty, (when she comes here, there have been days she doesn't take a shower).

Twice I have found Emily's lingerie on the floor. Last week, she left a pair of her panties on the bathroom floor. I showed Ed and told him that was the SECOND time I had found her underwear (the first time I didn't say anything). I said, "You have to talk to Emily and tell her not to leave her underwear laying around."

I see a change in Ed. My son hasn't cut his hair in 2 1/2 years and he no longer appears to be as into working out. This is not who we are as a family. My husband and I are fit for our ages (60s) and by all standards clean and orderly. Should I say anything to Ed? I feel like Emily is changing who he is. -- NOT THE SAME IN THE EAST

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4. DEAR ABBY: Our 40-year-old son has become a full-fledged narcissist and blames us (his sister, her husband, my husband and me) for a family schism that has gone on for two years. He tells lies about us and keeps us from our granddaughter. Any attempt to contact him has been met with venomous, foul-mouthed texts in return.

Our son went through a nasty divorce and horrible custody proceeding, but we did our best to support him financially and emotionally during that time. He is now supposedly happily remarried, but he continues to deny us access to his daughter. We are heartbroken. This is not the way we raised him. Any suggestions? -- BAFFLED IN NORTH CAROLINA

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5. DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I recently planned a weekend trip out of town, and we arranged for our children to stay with their aunt, my husband's sister, while we were away. We thought everything was going well until, halfway through our trip, we received a call from her saying that one of our kids had started acting out. She told us that she doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior in her home and insisted that we come pick him up immediately. I was shocked and honestly upset. I understand that our son can be a handful at times. He's going through a bit of a rebellious phase, but I feel like she overreacted. We trusted her to help us out, and instead of trying to manage the situation or even calling us for advice on how to calm him down, she made us cut our trip short and made us feel like we were being irresponsible parents for going away in the first place. Now there's tension between us, and I don't know how to approach this. Am I wrong for feeling like she could have handled things differently? -- Not Helpful

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umadoshi

Three unrelated things that have been announced recently:

K.B. Spangler says that the sixth Rachel Peng novel is coming out in late October!
Discotek has announced that they're releasing Monster: The Complete Series, which is very exciting since AFAIK only the first chunk was ever released in a physical edition the first time it was licensed. (I think the whole series is on Netflix, but I want to own a copy.)
ANN reports that Minekura-sensei is not only resuming Wild Adapter after a nine-year hiatus but aiming to wrap it up in its eighth volume. If it's actually completed, I imagine that increases the odds of it being re-licensed in English. (I was more attached to Saiyuki, personally, but even though she resumed that last fall [and ANY of this is pretty miraculous, given my vague understanding of her health], I'm not even hoping for anything on that front. If I'm pleasantly surprised, that'll be awesome.)

(Not an announcement, but FYI for fellow Canadians, Z1L's Dongji Rescue has made it to the Cineplex site with the expected August 22nd date. That's...that's next Friday! Less than two weeks! At some point, there should be actual theatres and showtimes! *_*)

Current Mood: excited

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Annie: My sister "Kendra" and I are not very close and only communicate two to three times per year, mainly in emails. Kendra sold her home and moved out of state. Through our sibling, I heard that she listed her house high to begin with and had to come down on her price in the end but made a decent amount on it. I never commented on how much she made or didn't make on her old house; I felt that was absolutely none of my business. When she moved and posted pictures of her new house, I commented that I was happy for her.

Fast-forward to me selling my home a year or so later. After my home sold, the information on it went out to the various housing sites, incorrectly showing that it took a loss. We actually did make a nice profit on it. The information that went out was a typo and was corrected about four weeks later.

Kendra was quick to reach out in an email stating she saw online how much we sold for and was surprised at the extreme money loss we took. She then asked if it was a short sale or foreclosure and commented that we must have been very upset about it.

I feel this was none of her business, even if it was the right information. Am I overreacting that I feel it was quite rude for her to comment on my personal business? How should I reply back to her? -- Perplexed

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conuly posting in

agonyaunt

DEAR HARRIETTE: Since I was young, I've found that I've always had strange anxiety-induced habits -- pulling at the edges of my hair, sucking my thumb, picking at scabs, etc. Over time, I'd find a solution, or I'd just sort of grow out of it. At present, I scratch the insides of my palms when I'm nervous, stressed or frustrated. I think I may do it at other times, but I haven't pinpointed all of the triggers. Lately, it's been out of control. I haven't been able to resolve this one, but I'm so ready to leave it behind. How do I find a lifetime solution for all these behavioral tics? -- Old Habits Die Hard

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conuly posting in

agonyaunt

My mother desperately wants grandchildren. I’m nearing 30 and have never wanted children; my partner feels the same way. We would both rather focus on our careers, and there are also some hereditary health conditions in our family — nothing life-threatening, but enough that we would rather not pass them on.

Despite knowing all this, my mother pressures us constantly. Every time I explain my position, she becomes distraught and insists I just don’t understand the joy a child would bring. She’s in poor physical and mental health, and these conversations quickly spiral into intense emotional distress. Any attempts at therapy have been flatly dismissed.

Now she’s saying that she’ll cut me out of her will if I don’t have a child. There’s not much money involved, but I worry that, if it comes to that, she might also cut off contact altogether. My sibling has already severed ties with my mother over her mental-health struggles. I want to keep my mother in my life, but I can’t stand the thought of this one issue dominating whatever time we have left together.

I’ve started to consider telling her I can’t have children because of fertility issues. That would be a lie, and I feel uneasy using something so many people genuinely struggle with as an excuse. Still, her fixation on grandchildren is seriously damaging our relationship. Should I lie to my mother to try to save our relationship, or keep telling the truth and watch things fall apart? — Name Withheld

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umadoshi

Reading:

scruloose and I finished listening to All Systems Red and are now maybe a third of the way into Artificial Condition.

Yesterday I finished The Hands of the Emperor, which I think I read some of every day and still took me something like a week and a half even though I continued to really enjoy it all the way through. (I did find myself wishing that some of the emotional arc with Kip and his family had been shorter; [ROT13] uvf pbzcyvpngrq srryvatf nobhg uvf snzvyl abg ng nyy tenfcvat jub ur jnf be jung ur npghnyyl qvq jrer inyvq, ohg gung jnf n YBG bs cntrf qribgrq gb znal vafgnaprf va n ebj bs ehaavat vagb lrg nabgure crefba jub qvqa'g trg vg naq jnf qvfzvffvir be vafhygvat, be fbzrbar jub QVQ xabj jub ur jnf naq univat na vagrenpgvba, naq va rvgure pnfr gurer jnf gura lrg nabgure yratgul qryvirel bs rkcynangvba, naq vg jnf whfg...n ybg.

After finishing that last night, I completely at random started reading We'll Prescribe You a Cat (Syou Ishida), about which I have no particular feelings at this time.

Eating/baking: ( fruit, baking, salad (HelloFresh), sadness about still not liking tomatoes )

Current Mood: groggy

muccamukk

Ben + Johnny + Sex Pollen = fic.

Which, surprisingly, I haven't seen in any version, though it's probably on LJ or something.

muccamukk

As a follow up to bitching about this in the last post, I thought I'd look and see where I was with watching some of these. The movies are in order they came out. The TV shows are sorta just stuck in there for the year they started, rather than breaking them up by season. I'm too lazy to look up the details of exactly when they aired (especially as I don't even remember some of these existed). I'm only including live action films and tv shows. ( Long list is long )

muccamukk

Going to the Movies!

(Success Rate: 1.5 out of 4)

In May, we tried to go to Sinners at Local Theatre #1, only to find none of their caption machines were working.

In June, we didn't bother trying.

In July, we tried to go to Superman at Local Theatre #2, only to find that they didn't have caption machines at all. In 2025.

Later in July, while visiting my parents, we went to their Local Theatre to see Superman, only to have multiple caption machines crap out part way through the movie, leaving Nenya to finish it on their speech to text app (an imperfect experience).

This week, I went back to Local Theatre #1 and asked in person if the caption machines were now working (they neither answer the phone, nor call people back if you leave a message). Being assured they were, we booked tickets to The Fantastic Four: First Steps. The first caption machine Nenya got didn't even turn on, but the next one made it through the whole entire movie! Diversity win! (Or something.)

Actual movie thoughts aren't that deep, but it's superhero films, so...

Superman (2025)

So I'm more of a Marvel Girl, though I did like the first Wonder Woman movie and Blue Beetle, but Nenya grew up on the Christopher Reeve movies, and this had been advertised as More Like That, so we decided to give it a go.

It was really fun! I thought the casting was great, and I'm really enjoying the "superheroes' lives are inherently ridiculous" vibe we're currently going with. Also: death to origin stories! It was really nice to see the Justice League International gang (lol), and have a Superman who was doing the Big Blue Boyscout thing in earnest. (I thought

Princess_Weekes' video Quentin Tarantino Accidentally Broke Superman had great insights about why people got on the wrong track with the character.) It was silly and had heart, and didn't have joyless desaturation, and I'm here for all of this.

Will happily come back for the Supergirl movie, and am even more invested in season two of Peacemaker.

The Fantastic Four: The First Steps (2025)

I really liked the retro-futurist aesthetic, and was happy they didn't combine them with 1960s inequalities. Also: space! I haven't seen any of the cast in a whole lot, but thought they were great for the roles. Pascal was fully on point as Reed, and managed to capture his pathos without diving head first into manpain, and I really liked Reed/Sue here. I just like his face, also. They toned down Johnny's womanising into a low-key romance that actually worked for me, though even putting Natasha Lyonne in it didn't make Ben's crush that interesting (mostly because we got 2.5 minutes of time with that plot). Given all the natalism in the air, I'm a bit twitchy about movies focused around babies, but I liked that they didn't even consider that Sue couldn't go on the mission while eight months pregnant. I will riot if we don't get Valeria, though.

Which kind of brings me to the mid-credits scene. ( Spoilers for where this fits in the MCU? )

(Looking at AO3, it seems like people are into ~~Eddie Munson~~ Johnny het, either with the Silver Surfer or with Y/N. Though there is also some team!fic with woobie!Johnny. There's like two Ben/Johnny fic, which is surprising as they had a nice vibe in this, and it used to be the big ship. I'd also like more Reed!whump than I found, but early days.)

Department of "But It's Still Weird that It Happened Twice"

( Mild spoilers for both films )

muccamukk

I've been knitting and watching shows, which has led me to try to find stuff that's good to watch while crafting, especially things on Kanopy.

I was going to do a bunch of these in a post, but the first got long, so stand by for further knitting show thoughts.

North and South (2004)

(I haven't read the book, though I keep meaning to get into Elizabeth Gaskell, who is recommended when you run out of George Eliot.)

A star crossed romance between Daniela Denby-Ashe as an impoverished daughter of an auto-defrocked churchman from Hampshire, and Richard Armitage as a self-made cotton mill owner in ~~Lancashire~~ "Darkshire"* (amazing name, thank you, Mrs Gaskell). He's in the middle of putting down a strike, and she's in the middle of being appalled by the violence of literally everything that's happening. The main attachment between them seems to be that they are both stunningly beautiful, and appear even more attractive when they are sad. Which they are a lot.

So... he's a strike-breaking mill owner in 1855, who sets the army on his workers? (Which they are careful not to show in detail because it might distract us from how very beautiful Richard Armitage is when he's sad.) Absolutely no one talks about where all the cotton's coming from, other than "America."† He does, later in the show, come to be more sympathetic to the workers, and start actually talking to them and shit, but the strikebreaking is a lot to get past. If you're likely to spend much of the show humming "The Internationale," then maybe give this a skip. If you don't mind/can ignore that, the pining is excellent, and the actors are very beautiful.

Quality as knitting show: 4/5, would knit to this again.

( End Notes )

umadoshi

The entire province is in a drought now, after a generally dry season that was already extremely dry in a lot of areas, and last I heard there was no rain in the forecast. Yesterday official word came out asking people to try to conserve water and telling everyone to stay the hell out of the woods. (Apparently there's a substantial fine, although my understanding is that no such fine has ever been successfully enforced, so that's...great.) So now is the time of hoping the farmers and crops come through as well as possible, and that wildfire season passes us by.

Current Mood: worried

likeadeuce

I keep meaning to write on here more and then -- not -- I'm doing pretty well in a personal if not global/ existential sense. Job is fine, I'm reading and watching interesting things, spending time with friends, watching a lot of tennis because it turns out if you want to watch this sport it is pretty much all going on. The sounds are soothing, the people are attractive, and the social media and journalism are very good about the narratives.

Also, I'm reading and writing about fictional tennis, leading to a couple recs:

A person who might be anonymous or might be a user named 'Buries' recorded a podfic, never be lonely anymore of one of my more fun loving Challengers fics, and it's fun to hear these characters in what I think might be an Australian accent.

I participated in the Challengers summer fic exchange and received Epilogue after Epilogue, by MostReverent (who is great and also ran the exchange). This is a great, chewy Tashi POV where the three of them take a road trip together. Get three people with sexual tension in a vehicle and I am there for it. I've been craving road trip fic with these characters and the author does an amazing job of digging into their feelings after the events of the film. Also, I learned from the title that Dave Malloy wrote and recorded an epilogue to my favorite musical, "Natasha Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812." Pretty sure the author had no way to know I dig that show. Here's the the song which wasn't in the show and didn't appear on the cast album.

Finally, I wrote my own story for the exchange, which is also about the trio post movie:

the music of your broken window (4028 words) by likeadeuce
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Challengers (Movie 2024)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Art Donaldson/Tashi Donaldson/Patrick Zweig
Characters: Art Donaldson, Tashi Donaldson, Patrick Zweig
Additional Tags: Tennis, Negotiations, Art Donaldson's POV, US Open 2019, optimism (Mostly), Post-Canon, Polyamory, The negotiations are not about the polyamory
Summary:

Since the New Rochelle Challenger, Art has been enjoying a kind of summer camp/ adult slumber party with his wife and his oldest friend, but it can't last forever. Can they plan a way forward, or will they always be caught in the wreckage of their teenage relationship crash?

I'm just continuing to have a good time playing with these toys.

romantical

Well, this summer. Things are a little wild suddenly. Last weekend I was up at my mom's to help with a garage sale and that was exhausting. I took some pictures but haven't gotten around to dealing with them yet. Tomorrow I have to go to the airport to fly out for a quick weekend trip, then come back home and really crack down on school (trying to get ahead on the regular stuff so I can work on my final projects). The following weekend is the first booster club meeting of the year, the next weekend is Josh Johnson and Mariners and dinner with friends, and the following week is probably going back to work a little, training camp for hockey, then Jordan Klepper, then school.

Oh, and then in December I'm flying to California for an overnight to see TAI on tour. Because they hate the NW (like every other band, let's be honest). Bought the expensive package so I can see Beckett, since it's been forever. And, you know, I like that guy. He's a cool dude.

In the meantime, I've done some work on the house and today I'm getting the tax stuff for the booster club ready to go and taking it to the accountant. Next week might have lunch with a friend during her work lunch break. Also need to get this year's budget ready, make some stuff for the booster club table (I'm using a large saw. Fear me), balance the books for July, and find out if we're doing a pot luck so I can figure out what to make.

I wouldn't mind summer being so busy if it wasn't all at once.

Hi, gang! Hope you're all doing well.

minoanmiss posting in

agonyaunt

Compare and Contrast.

( Employee's Husband Sent Us Revenge Porn )

( 4. Delivery person uses our lunchroom )

Current Mood: shocked

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Carolyn: A friend and colleague has been MIA at work and in our friend circle for weeks. She claims she hurt her back, is in pain and having procedures and and and… And this has her missing meetings and deadlines and happy hour and dropping all the balls. She has not told anyone exactly what happened with her back. She said she was doing some light housework when it just hurt all of a sudden, which sounds ridiculous to me and everyone else I know. We don’t know what “procedures” she has had. We don’t know when she will get back to normal. We’re not talking about an old person here; she is 43! I called her the other day and I could hear the TV on, during the workday, which she turned off or muted when she took my call.

I feel like she is lying or exaggerating to get out of work — while not taking formal leave or PTO, because we can work remotely — and she is blowing off her friends and colleagues while we pick up the slack for her at the office and make her excuses at social functions. How do I figure out what’s really going on with her, and get her to do her own work again so I don’t have to fill in for someone who is home watching TV while I’m busting my you-know-what?

— Busting My You-Know-What

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conuly posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Carolyn: My dad, uncle and grandfather are all lawyers, and I always thought I wanted to be one, too. Until I realized in college I was much more interested in science. I switched my major to microbiology and graduated with honors. Now I’m in my last year of my PhD program, but according to my dad, I’m a huge failure and a disappointment.

My younger cousin graduated from law school and joined the family law firm, and it’s all he can talk about. My mom said I shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up all those years I said I wanted to be a lawyer. They also are still complaining that my switching majors cost them extra tuition. It’s not like I pulled a deliberate bait-and-switch; I changed my mind.

When my dad asked what my plans were and I told him I’d be looking for a postdoc position, he said I was going to waste my life in academia and never make any real money.

I think most parents would be overjoyed their daughter is getting a doctorate, but mine act like I’m a dropout and a failure. There’s no way to make your parents supportive or proud of you, though, is there?

— Changed My Mind

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gorgeousnerd

hi, dreamwidth! if you’re one of my bandom mutuals, you already probably know that my chemical romance, my all-time favorite band, is on tour right now. if you’re on bluesky, you know that i’ve been watching all the shows through streams and liveblogging my reactions.

(watching tour streams is a big thing in music fandoms right now! if the act is big enough, multiple people will livestream the show from their phones to places like instagram, tiktok, and twitter. i know a lot of people who followed along during taylor swift’s eras tour, for example. i started doing it in earnest when mcr played las vegas’s emo festival when we were young, this past october.)

however, even if you know my chem, if you’re not following along with the shows themselves and the lore around them, my bluesky threads are probably mostly or completely random. no longer! this post is intended to be a guide to follow along. if you’re inspired, maybe you can watch the streams too. it's written for someone with little-to-no initial knowledge, but there's definitely new info if you're a fan and not actively following along.

however again! there are a bunch of reasons why my observations might not be precise or accurate: i watch the show through someone else’s cellphone camera while i’m sitting at my computer, i watch the show while typing observations, my sources are ephemeral, the staging is a bit closed-in, etc. i’ll be editing this primer as the tour continues and as i watch shows, but i encourage seeing this as a jumping-off point to look into details yourself vs. a definitive/accurate guide to what’s happening.

oh, and if you’re seeing the band on this tour, obviously there’s going to be some spoilers here. best to avoid if you want to go in cold.

got it? now we just get up and go!

( table of contents. )

( sources. )

( the band. )

( the album and old performances. )

( the long-live conceit. )

( the shows, part one. )

( the shows, part two. )

( extra/various details. )