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This is an extremely important post, obviously.
John Tortorella is a high-strung, abrasive hockey coach who once tried to attack the opponent's locker room during intermission, in a game that has been immortalized in song. Jack Johnson is a hockey player whose parents stole his paychecks and made a fool of him publicly.
One thing about Torts is that he loves big bruiser-style hockey player. The larger the better. Jack is one of those! The direction that hockey as a whole is going on is NOT those. I came up with a totally reasonable theory that he loves that kind of guy because he has some repressed desires to be dominated and topped by a large musclebound man. Jack was one of Torts' favorites in Columbus, even though Jack was neck-deep in his legal troubles with his parents, understandably distracted, and also undergoing a decline in his play.
And yet Torts put him on Team USA for the 2016 World Cup of Hockey! Keepin' Jack close, you know.
Anyway most of this was just to amuse myself until Jack requested a trade off the Blue Jackets and ended up going to the Penguins, at which point Torts exploded like, uh, a salty ex.
"Reached by The Athletic for reaction to Johnson's apparent slight, Tortorella said, "All I know is this organization, from the lawyers, the front office, J.D. [John Davidson], the managers, the coaches, players ... has done nothing but try to help Jack. And for him to backhand slap us like this is utter bulls---, and he should know better.
"No one wishes anything bad to happen to him and his family. We wish him the best. But for him to put it the way he put it today is bulls---. And to have a general manager question our decision-making from three hours away, he must be a f---ing magician.""
no one... wishes anything bad to happen to him and his family... uh. nobody brought that up but you, Torts, why are you protesting too much
""Jack and I had an open, honest conversation all through this. Jack and I have known one another forever, and I love the guy. There's no agenda here. You think that's an easy decision for me, after what Jack Johnson has been in this league and what he is?"
NORMAL. VERY NORMAL.
Anyway Torts was in love and Jack left him and Torts probably has his home address and thinks about standing under his window with a boombox, sometimes, to this day.
John Tortorella is a high-strung, abrasive hockey coach who once tried to attack the opponent's locker room during intermission, in a game that has been immortalized in song. Jack Johnson is a hockey player whose parents stole his paychecks and made a fool of him publicly.
One thing about Torts is that he loves big bruiser-style hockey player. The larger the better. Jack is one of those! The direction that hockey as a whole is going on is NOT those. I came up with a totally reasonable theory that he loves that kind of guy because he has some repressed desires to be dominated and topped by a large musclebound man. Jack was one of Torts' favorites in Columbus, even though Jack was neck-deep in his legal troubles with his parents, understandably distracted, and also undergoing a decline in his play.
And yet Torts put him on Team USA for the 2016 World Cup of Hockey! Keepin' Jack close, you know.
Anyway most of this was just to amuse myself until Jack requested a trade off the Blue Jackets and ended up going to the Penguins, at which point Torts exploded like, uh, a salty ex.
"Reached by The Athletic for reaction to Johnson's apparent slight, Tortorella said, "All I know is this organization, from the lawyers, the front office, J.D. [John Davidson], the managers, the coaches, players ... has done nothing but try to help Jack. And for him to backhand slap us like this is utter bulls---, and he should know better.
"No one wishes anything bad to happen to him and his family. We wish him the best. But for him to put it the way he put it today is bulls---. And to have a general manager question our decision-making from three hours away, he must be a f---ing magician.""
no one... wishes anything bad to happen to him and his family... uh. nobody brought that up but you, Torts, why are you protesting too much
""Jack and I had an open, honest conversation all through this. Jack and I have known one another forever, and I love the guy. There's no agenda here. You think that's an easy decision for me, after what Jack Johnson has been in this league and what he is?"
NORMAL. VERY NORMAL.
Anyway Torts was in love and Jack left him and Torts probably has his home address and thinks about standing under his window with a boombox, sometimes, to this day.
